Please post your questions or comments at our Forum.

This post has been inspired from a recent encounter that has irked me for years. No, this post is not about the pool, which thankfully I am back running again. Though I have now come to have similar feelings toward the stationary bike… well minus the wet factor, ravenous crabs, and the rabies thing. Now, all who read this might be thinking, “Doubles” that’s easy. Run twice a day. Correct! That is one type of double I will be discussing. But, in this case I’m using the term “the double” as a homonym. Yes… I can do that and just did.

So, how can the double have several meanings? I will tell you. But I warn you, if you read on things will get uncomfortable and possibly awkward. I will also be ranking these “doubles” on a scale of socially unacceptable to socially acceptable. This scale is not linear and really has zero relevance. Thus I will be accommodating to each situation.

The running double.

Now, most people who have run miles do this weekly. Probably daily. It is uncomfortable, and tiring, but it is a must. Some like to call doubles “junk miles”, I am OK with that. Some even call doubles a “Second Run”, again OK in my book. Here is where it gets a little fishy. When one does a morning run (i.e. shorter run of the day) some people call this their double. When in fact that is impossible. Someone will say to me “ I’m heading out for my double” and it is 7 a.m. The early morning grog is still amongst me and I usually accept it, but this has to be stopped. I understand the confusion… actually I don’t, but we all know people like this and we must rise up and fight. This ladies and gentleman is only the beginning. If it gets out of hand, who knows what will happen to the running double.

Ranking: Socially incorrect.

The Double Dip

Next up we have one of the most controversial doubles. The Double Dip. People all over the world are double dipping at parties, social gatherings, weddings, bat mitzvahs, even on President’s Day! I cannot help but think most are opposed to the double dip. Let’s say you’re at a gathering where finger foods are readily available. You start chatting it up with a colleague and he/she double dips in the crab and artichoke dip. What are you to do? Stop them? That’s about as awkward as it gets. So, here is my solution, or at least a rationalization. Think of it this way, if you see someone heading for the double dip, you can do one of two things:

1. Start tap-dancing right before he/she dives in for seconds on a community bowl of cheese dip.

2. OR, rationalize. Those germs are not diving off the chip or veggie someone has bitten into. As they go for the double dip, think of their germs as hanging on for dear life and as he/she plunges into the spinach dip, the germs are clinging to that food as if it were a crab on the end of a 10 years old finger at the beach.

Ranking: Socially Malevolent

The double hello/double goodbye

Finally, I would like to introduce the inspiration for this post. The epic “double hello/double good bye”. This is one interaction that I fear everyday. I avoid it like the plague. I can sense when they are approaching. Thinking about it makes me ill.

So what do I mean by the double hello? Here is my best example, which seems to happen to me 3.8 times out of every 5 I take a trip to Wegmans.

As I’m cruising the fresh produce at Wegmans I get a sense that I should not turn around. I think to myself, “I’ve only been here for 2 minutes, surely someone has not spotted me”. Yet I am wrong every time. It wouldn’t be a problem if it were someone I see regularly. NO! It is always someone I haven’t seen in a long enough time to have the awkward silence that follows the “how are you’s?” and “what are you doing now?” talk. After that, it is inevitable that I run into them down every aisle. Nervously trying to think of something clever to say. But all either of us can come up with is a halfhearted grin and something cheesy like “cereal is expensive nowadays” or “can’t live without my fiber”. As my anxiety rises, I make an executive decision to leave the grocery store, cart and all, in whatever aisle I am in and come back another time. This friends, is no joke.

This is also applied to the double goodbye, in which you have already said goodbye to someone, and end up running into him or her 5 min later. EPIC FAIL. In this situation nothing is ever said, just a slight smile or nod with an exhale out of the nostrils indicating humor…

Ranking: Socially undesirable (Possible moving into the Social misdemeanor category)

There is it folks. The double. No doubt each of you have experienced at least 2 of these and some of you may even have the same sentiments that I do. If so, feel free to use my scale and suggestions for dealing with them.

Current addictions: dried fruits, breakfast polenta, and “the XX” check them out!

Still working on the sweat pants thing.

- Jordan

---

Well unfortunately, or fortunately (which ever you would like to see it) I am not able to consider the weather. I'm on the DL, out, injured, not running. This is without a doubt the worst part of our sport. Even in the dead of winter or the middle of the summer, running is better than not. 

To make the situation a little more clear, I am currently working on my 5th stress fracture. Yes, 5th. Though it seems I have caught this one in time and the doc called it a "stress reaction", which just seems like semantics to me. Whatever it is, I cannot run. Therefore I am summoned to the Pool and the bike.

Here begins my melt. The dread of the pool. I don't think there are enough words to describe my hatred for the pool. I fear water. Dislike it, loathe it, find a negative word and it will fit. And not just the pool, but water in general. Oceans, lakes, ponds, small streams behind hillside cottages. Whatever the source I dislike it.

Wait, maybe fear isn't the right word. I like to drink water, and the thought of being near water is nice and relaxing. I guess a complete fear of water would mean I contracted rabies.

 

Anyhow. I'm sure some are wondering "why?" the pool is a great way to stay in shape when injured. Well, anyone who has spent enough time in the pool knows that time comes to a complete halt. 15 minutes feels like 30. And spending 2 hours in the pool is as close to torture as it gets. 

I have not always had a distaste for water, the first 10 years of my life I was a huge fan. Family vacations to the ocean, begging Ma' to take me to the pool everyday, swimming lessons (which proved to be useless as I can barely make it 10 lengths without feeling as though I am going to sink to the bottom). But one fatal trip into the ocean was all it took. I usually do not like revisiting this situation, but I will. 

I was 9 maybe 10 years old. It was summer, and my family was preparing for our annual trip to the beach. We usually went to one of those crowded resort type places. Myrtle beach maybe? Hilton Head? Ocean City? I don't remember, I just knew we were heading south and it would be absolute bliss. The first couple days were the fantastic, building sand castles, big waves, belly surfing into shore. You get the picture. Then the horror. I was wading in the water, just minding my own business. Probably off in my mind somewhere wondering what it would be like to have gills. When I felt a sharp stinging pain. Immediate discomfort. Than again, and again. I started sprinting toward the shore, only to find multiple jellyfish attached to me.  I laid on the beach crying, stung, and waiting for my dad to come scoop me up. 

A few days passed and the pain had subsided enough for me to consider getting back in the water. So I decided to take it slow, maybe a toe here, foot there. gradually build my water tolerance up again. Early one morning (days after the brutal attack) my mom asked if I wanted to go look for the epic conch shell. Of course I did! We made our way down to the waters edge, looking with great intent I saw it! A huge shell. Treasure. Without hesitation I reached down to pick up my find, only to be bitten by a crab! Yes, a crab with his/her pinchers snagged my fingers. 

That was it. I had enough of the ocean. I am now 24 and 14 years abstinent. 

Standing in front of a glass door contemplating the weather is not my problem. I now stand at the edge of the pool, everyday, with flashbacks of jellyfish and monster crabs. 

Ok, now for a mini bio: 

I graduated from Auburn University (current temperature mid 60s). I followed my coach Chris Fox to Syracuse University where I received my masters degree, competed for Syracuse and was a Graduate Assistant Coach. I now have the privilege of continuing my post graduate running career with a new training group: Stotan Racing. Started and coached by Bill and John Aris, Stotan Racing is an exciting opportunity to do big things. 

Tid bits: I could live off of cereal. I enjoy splitting wood and receiving mail. I am currently addicted to mangoes. I also wish sweat pants were socially acceptable.





- Jordan