But this is exactly what our legs do as we run, they extend down just far enough to touch the ground, roll back, cycle up towards our glutes, then extend down again. We are an all-terrain one-wheeled vehicle with two spokes. I say one-wheeled with two spokes instead of two-wheeled with one-spoke each because of the way the feet plant underneath a person's center of mass and not hip-width apart.

 

In Snow Crash future skateboards have short-range radar that scans the ground for obstacles and holes so the wheels know how to extend and retract to give an optimally smooth ride. We humans have two mechanisms to know how to extend our legs. The macro mechanism, for major changes in terrain, is our eyes, but we also have a micro mechanism which is in our toes, feet, and ankles. This mechanism responds to touch or lack thereof and responds to make minor adjustments in order to make contact with the ground.

 

So next time you're running, just think about rolling along. You are the fastest all-terrain unicycle on Earth.

So, continuing on my Born to Run kick I have a task for you.

 

Your task is to kill one or more antelope for your tribe to eat.

 

Your weapons include: 10 women, 10 men, and nothing more lethal at range than a thrown rock.

 

What's your best strategy? How do you position your team?

 

Here are my thoughts: First you do your best to select one or more antelope with distinctive characteristics (white ear, particular spot pattern, whatever). This is important because the creature can outsprint you and has a habit of doubling back and re-mixing with the herd. If you can't flush out the same animal, it can rest and you'll just get more fatigued. Your endurance is far better than one antelope's, but is not better than an antelope herd relay. Also the antelope is running for it's life and you're just running for dinner.

 

After selecting a target, my plan would be to arrange the team into certain positions including:

 

Flankers

Sprinters

Trackers

Reservists

 

The job of the Flankers is to try to channel the antelope in a single direction and prevent it from moving into terrain unfavorable to the runners, or from regrouping with the herd. Two pairs of flankers is sufficient. When the flankers begin to tire, one will fall back and get two replacements. This way the position is never left empty.

 

The job of the Sprinters is to maintain a faster pace and stay hot on the animal's tail, fatiguing it rapidly. Two or three sprinters at a time ought to be plenty.

 

To make a soccer analogy, Flankers and Sprinters are forwards. Trackers are midfielders. Trackers are the most skilled trackers of your team. Ideally, the trackers serve only as a link between the forwards and the Reservists, but sometimes they will be called upon to reacquire the antelope if its trail is lost.

 

Flankers and Sprinters will rotate from the pool of Reservists who jog at a more leisurely pace, saving energy or recovering until called upon. Since the antelope won't run in a straight line, the Reservists save additional energy by cutting tangents. It is the Trackers' job to communicate information on the antelope's movement to the Reservists so they can run most efficiently. Unless everyone is equally skilled at tracking, the Trackers will not have the convenience of rotating back to the Reservists since a lost trail needs to be recovered as quickly as possible to minimize the rest given to the antelope.

 

So under my plan we've got 3 Sprinters, 4 Flankers, say 5 Trackers, and 8 Reservists at any given time.

 

1. Separate bathrooms would be illegal (they could be challenged under Separate but Equal).

2. And women would not be exempt from the draft. (The draft currently discriminates against men.)

 

However, it was quickly pointed out to me that the consequences of these changes would be minor.

Regarding 1: I shared bathrooms with women all throughout college while living in coed dorms and never had any problem or discomfort.

Regarding 2: Israel already requires men and women to undergo military training and honestly, if there was a draft in America protesters would flood the streets as more people should have done prior to the Iraq war, but I digress.

 

I'll admit I was surprised at how simple and rational full gender equality (under the law) seemed to be until I realized that a major change had been neglected: women would have to compete equally with men in sports. Separate award systems for women would be illegal as would separate teams.

 

Is it worth it?

 

Born to Run likes to make a big thing about how women ultrarunners regularly compete at the same level as men. Ann Trason is cited as an example, but I'm not sure this generalization is based on sound evidence and in the larger world of athletics it matters little.

 

Food for thought.

The skeptically-curious runner looking to decipher the DaVinci code of barefoot running can take it or leave it, but for anyone who is not looking to argue with the book from start to finish, I highly recommend Born to Run. Besides, the skeptically-curious reader already knows the sober yet hopeful truth: the barefoot runners are on to something, but it's not a cure-all.

Here's a video of the author giving a little intro to the book. Check out his form (leg form, not arm form.) Somebody's been holding an ipod in one hand, but not the other.  Tsk. Tsk.


- Neal

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